Though you may be wondering how to get your ex back, the solution to your problem is likely not that simple. In fact, the old relationship may be so damaged that there is no choice but to start fresh again. It is a tough time, even if the breakup was mutual (which often times its not). Sadly, you may have to face the cold reality that it just wasn’t meant to be.

The biggest reason it is so hard is that a relationship creates a certain amount of codependency – some of that is really good, but some of it can be bad as well, especially in long term relationships. What often happens is that you can become too dependent on your partner and lose a little bit of yourself along the way.

So the first step that you should take when dealing with a breakup is getting back in touch with yourself. Give yourself some time to think about what happened, what went wrong, how you could have handled things better. You’ve got to let go of the hurt and really examine the root causes of the breakup. Even if your partner cheated on you, you bear some responsibility in that and you have to honestly examine your behaviors and attitudes. Here’s the thing: You can’t now, nor will you ever be able to, control your partner’s behavior. You

CHANGES from LORCAN FINNEGAN on Vimeo.

Dating should be a fun and exciting experience. Everybody is looking to have fun while dating. Meeting that special someone is a valuable experience and should not be taken lightly. If you have not met your soul mate, then chances are that you are looking for that person. Finding that special guy or gal may seem to be an never-ending process.  However, when you do find that person you want to keep them in love and happy.

Developing a close relationship with someone should be a special part of life. Being able to accept the good and bad with your soul mate creates a special bond and can be a wonderful thing. Whether the relationship is new or old, you should constantly be searching for ways to spice it up.  There is no better way to spice up the situation than to have fun dates. Just because you’re married does not mean it’s the end of the world.  You can still have fun and intimate dates with your loved one.  Creating this bond will build things for the years to come.

Generating fun date ideas is ideal in any situation. Let’s take a look at a few ideas:

Cheap dates

I believe these are best.  These are good because it shows your creative side.  Cheap dates show that you don’t have to stretch your wallet beyond your wildest imagination to have fun.  Having dates at home, just watching a movie and cuddling is good.  In most cases, your mate just wants to feel appreciated and wants to know that someone is thinking of them.  It’s the little things that matters when love is involved.

Here’s a few more ideas.

1. Window Shopping: This is a great idea. There is basically no out of pocket expense here. Just you and your mate walking, browsing and conversing amongst each other.

2. Watch the Sunset: There is nothing like cuddling and watching the sunset.  Take a walk along the beach with your mate.  Watch the sunset as it disappears over the horizon.

3. Go for a drive: This is a refreshing date.  Take your navigation system along with your loved one and get lost.  You and your mate will enjoy seeing new and exciting things.

Fun Dates

Fun dates are essential to a relationship.  Every once in a while it’s good to get out and get away from the every day pressures of life. There is no better way to do it then to create a nice fun date with the person you love.

1. Bowling: Get your competitive juices flowing.  This is an inexpensive way to have fun.  Whether you’re just meeting a person or you’ve been in a long relationship, this will surely break the ice so to speak. In a bowling atmosphere you can relax and be yourself.

2. Video arcade: Whether you are young or older, this is a bonafide great way to have fun with your spouse or potential spouse.  This will definitely create lots of laughter and enjoyment. Do not let age affect you.  Live life and have fun.

Dating online has its advantages and disadvantages.  There’s significant risk involved with dating anyone whether you meet them online or offline.  Here I will briefly discuss a few a the positives and negatives of meeting your potential mate online. One of the biggest advantages to online dating is its convenience. You have access to hundreds, if not, thousands of dating sites online.  You do not have to get dressed up to go out to the grocery store, mall, club or even church to meet people.  You don’t have to flirt with any and everybody.  You simply register to a dating site, post pictures as well as your interests.

One of the biggest keys to dating online is to take the process one step at a time.  Take your time, browse through as many profiles as possible to see who has common interests.  Once you find someone who sparks your interest, open the lines of communication by sending that person a message.  Take your time, talk to your person of interest for a while.  When I say a while, that means weeks and months.  Do not be afraid to ask as many questions as possible.  Meeting someone too quickly is not a good idea at all. Gather as much information as possible.  You are screening your next potential mate.

Dating online also has some major disadvantages.  One problem is that you never know who you are actually dealing with no matter how may conversations you have with that person.  There are people out there who will post fraudulent pictures.  They will pose as someone else.  If there is only one picture on a dating profile, request more pictures from the user.  You should also go as far as to ask that user to personalize the pictures so that you are sure that you are talking to that person in the picture.

Ultimately, the decision is yours.  Never rely solely on your instincts before going on a date. Gather as much info as possible.  Take your time in this process.  You want to feel safe and secure. This is a very important decision you are making. Whenever you decide to meet someone, please do so in a public place. In the end, you never know who your soul mate is and where you will find that person.  Keep your options open.  Meeting someone online is not a desperate thing, you could possibly meet your husband or wife.

Many people are looking for a lasting relationship and yet some fail to understand how to strengthen a relationship and gain the love and respect for each other. Here are ten secrets towards an everlasting relationship for you and your partner to reflect on.

The First Secret: The power of Love.

Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about ourselves and others. If we want to love someone, we need to consider their needs and desires. Thinking about your ideal partner will help recognize him or her when you meet.

The Second Secret: The power of Respect.

You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect ask yourself, “What do I respect about myself? ” To gain respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself, “What do I respect about them?”

The Third Secret: The power of Giving.

If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive. To love is to give of yourself, freely and unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness. The secret formula of a happy, lifelong relationship is to always focus on what you can give instead of you can take.

The Fourth Secret: The power of Friendship.

To find true love you must first find a true friend. To love someone completely you must love them for who they are not what they look like. Friendship is the soil through which love’s seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.

The Fifth Secret: The power of Touch.

Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and makes us more receptive to love.

The Sixth Secret: The power of Letting go.

If you love something, let it be free. Even in a loving relationship, people need their space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive and let go of past hurts and grievances. Love means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions.

The Seventh Secret: The power of Communication.

To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know; that you love and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say, “I love you.” Never let an opportunity pass to praise and acknowledge someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word. It could be the last time you see them.

The Eighth Secret: The power of Commitment.

If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it. Commitment is the true test of love. If you want to have loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationship from a strong, loving one.

The Ninth Secret: The power of Passion.

Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone. It comes from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. The essence of love and happiness are the same, all we need to do is to live each day with passion.

The Tenth Secret: The power of Trust.

You cannot love someone completely unless you trust them completely. Act as if your relationship with the person you love will never end. Trust is essential in all loving relationships. Trust yourself, trust others and trust the world. It is the foundation for LOVE.

Time and space does not have to be about loss and letting him know that you are home “pining” away until he returns. Spend your time learning how to send cute messages and attach it to an email to him, coming up with EMERGENCY ONLY silly games he can play while being rerouted for the third time on his trip home, and anticipating each homecoming with romance and love.

Traveling can be exciting and suck the life out you at the same time. Make sure you don’t dump a world of problems on him when he comes through the door. Greet him with a smile, a hug and most definitely a kiss…the same goes for those women who work out of a suitcase. Make him a nice dinner and let him unwind before you unload. Life is not always romantic, but you can lessen the bad stuff by allowing everyone to be in the right mood and frame of mind to deal with any “issues”.